This past week, Lucy has been fighting a cold bug. It’s been an ugly one, with a red nose, watery eyes and a hacking cough. I’ve been doing my best to stay away from the germs – I employed the usual warfare: washing hands, yelling, “use your germ pocket!”, and trying to keep kleenexes and other snotty-business tucked into the trash.
But if you look at this picture that I posted on Instagram this week, you’ll see that it’s nearly impossible for me to have germ-free space. We (affectionately) call our children “barnacles”.
Yep. Your face on my face on her face and spreading all sort of germs.
We threw a Welcome Baby barbecue for our good friend (Welcome Miss Adele!) on Saturday. I woke up that morning with that oh-so-familiar scratchy feeling in the back of my throat. “No. No……. not today. Can’t happen. Won’t let it…”
I ignored my throat and the way my voice slowly slipped under-water throughout the evening. I washed my hands so frequently that the skin under my wedding rings started to turn angry and red.
But it was worth it. The night was a great success! Everyone ate and drank and laughed and bounced babies (myself excluded – I know the rules!) and we went to bed after midnight.
This morning, I woke up with joints that needed oiling, a face that felt stuffed with cotton, and a nose that had started running. My body had granted me one wish: you won’t be sick on party day, but you’re going to be doubly sick tomorrow.
But unlike being sick when you’re a singleton, having a cold when you also have young children causes the following symptoms:
1. Inability to properly lounge on couch and watch HGTV all day. Instead, your also-sick daughter will climb on top of you and beg for non-stop Dora. “Dora, Dora, Dora the Explorerrrrr…..” GAH! Save me!
2. Gravity is suddenly very serious about his job. Why is it so hard to move my arms? Am I swimming in molasses?
3. The house seems to collapse in on itself in piles of mess. Mr. Suburble carried piles of crap from one room to the other, but the clutter bred faster than fruit flies.
4. Feeding the children becomes an exercise in a hunter/gathering lifestyle. “Do you want… toast? Some cheese? I don’t know… saltines?” Just let me lie down and be miserable. Please!
5. Did I mention that I don’t get to watch my shows? Any of them?
“Who can we ask for help when we don’t know where to go??!?! MAP!??!”
Dora – nobody gets lost as frequently as you do, girl. And why are your parents okay with you traveling across the country and hitching rides with strangers? Something’s wrong here.
6. You spend the day lying in an avalanche of tissues and snot and a child whose chapped nostrils are just inches from your own.
Barnacle-baby, I can’t tell if I’m developing a lung infection or if you’re crushing me with your whole body.
7. The all-day dozing catches up with you… so that at 10:45 pm, you’re wide-awake and writing a blog post about having a cold. And thinking, “This might be good. Or maybe it’s crap. Either or, I’m posting it.”
So I am.
I’m sure that those of you who are the proud owners of tiny humans know what I’m talking about. How curling up in the fetal position seems like a good idea, until another sick-o tries to wriggle her way into your middle – like a hermit crab who found a new shell.
And as I cradled my little hermit crab like a baby and sang her songs in my gargly voice (“Mama’s going to buy you a diamond… bull…?” I don’t know… my brain is broken) and watched her eyelids slowly close, I tried to send all of my “get well” thoughts her way. I’ll be sick longer if she gets well sooner – can we negotiate that?
The Suburble house was a pathetic one today; I only hope that tomorrow we wake up with clear voices and dry noses.
And no pink eye, please. Please let us not have pink eye!
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Colds are the worse and then when the littles get them, yep, good luck with all of that LOL! Hope all are on the mend 🙂
Oh, thank you, Kathe! We’re all a little bit better today, but not quite 100%. It’s really something when you and your kiddo are sick simultaneously. It’s a whole household of self-pity.
Sorry to hear you were all sick!! It is NO FUN when you and the kiddos are sick at the same time. 🙁 Honestly there should be some type is cosmic rule that says Momma’s can’t get sick when their babies are!
Oh, thank you Kadie! You are so right: one sick person in the house is bad enough, but two? Intolerable! We’re feeling a bit better now, but man… I was not a happy camper yesterday. Thanks for reading my kind-of-whiny post! 🙂
Moms CANNOT get sick! That’s rule #1 in Mommy land. Hope you are feeling better today. The upside to my kids being grown is that I can finally stay in bed and watch what I want when I’m sick. But they don’t cuddle with me anymore 🙁
I agree. When mom gets sick, the chaos sneaks in.
I know that I’ll miss the cuddles when they’re older. I was a bit of a grump watching endless Treehouse TV though. 😉
I feel like you would be awesome to watch Dora with. When I ask my nephew where Dora’s parents are he just offers me a sippy cup of slobbery juice. I prefer sarcasm and water 🙂
Hope you and the kids feel better soon and that it doesn’t turn into the downward spiral of sickness where you all keep re-infecting each other!
Oh, I hope that we don’t end up re-infecting each other! How awful!
And yes – where ARE Dora’s parents during 90% of the show? Terrible supervision, really.
Amy @ StowandTellU
Though my.son is grown now. I remember how it used to be. So often we became sick at the same time. What a challenge as if regular parenting wasn’t enough!! Some how, some way we always got through it. Hope you all are feeling better real soon- Amy
Thank you so much, Amy! Now that I’m feeling a bit better, I can hear the whiny voice in my post. I’m so grateful for the empathy of other moms! 🙂
Amy of while wearing heels
Oh Tara. What a funny, sweet and touching post. It’s tough to be a sick momma but even tougher to be a sick momma with a sick baby. May all of you feel better soon.
Amy – I’m glad you saw my (attempt at) humour in this post. I feel like my fuzzy-brained-ness may have turned it into a bit of a vent! But yes, a sick momma is typically not type of person you want to hang out with! 🙂
Awww…hope you are feeling better today girl! My niece always made me watch Dora with her and I kind of thought the same things….a little strange and…Dora’s a little bossy too!
Thank you so much, Danni! Yeah – Dora’s got a little bit of a control issue, methinks. Though It’s also a bit strange that they keep on hanging out with a thief who seems set on ruining their fun. If I had a friend like Swiper, I think that after the second time he stole something from me, I’d be cutting ties. 😉
Kenz @ Interiors by Kenz
Sorry for all the sicks! I’m just really happy you have a sense of humor. I hope you and your barnacles feel better soon! I’ll send you some theoretical soup.
Oh, thank you very much for my virtual chicken noodle soup! Delicious! (Free range, I hope?!? 😉 )
May your future babe never have a cold at the same time that you do. Or if she does have a cold, may she love HGTV like her mama! 😉
Being a mom and being sick do not go well together. I hope you’re on the mend! 😀
Thank you so much, Marilyn! I got better quickly, but man… the self-pity was thick that day! 😉
So I just met you today via Better After… I clicked to see your ottoman and then saw this post and had to read it… but I can already tell that I like you so I have to share with you the ultimate weapon in cold care…. Aleeve-D Cold and Sinus. I had the same cold last week complete with the sick kid sitting on my chest (only he wanted to watch non-stop Coraline and Mickey Mouse Clubhouse: Road Rally). Then I took an Aleeve-D, and it was like “Hey! I feel like I don’t have a cold anymore!” I know it sounds too good to be true but I’m telling you those meds work. My friend who first shared the secret with me swears that when the zombies come she will stockpile Aleeve-D and be able to trade it for ammo and weapons. Good luck!!
Katie – Thank you so much for a) traveling around my blog after seeing my ottoman and b) sharing this very awesome cold secret.
Typically, I drink fluids and suffer loudly. With moans and watery eyes and pathetic-looking faces.
But this Aleeve-D stuff?!? Hmm… mama has to find some of that. Like you said, whether a cold or the zombie apocalypse… it’s wise to have the good stuff on hand. 😉
So glad to have you here! Hope to see you again!